Therion T. Thief (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bolderfell) wrote2020-04-09 11:38 am
bolderfell) wrote2020-04-09 11:38 am
Entry tags:
Unknown Seas Inventory
KEEPS:
Piercing Dagger - Phys. Atk. +59, Evasion +27. Can help you evade piercing questions, too, if you stab someone with it and run away.
70. “Letter Opener (Deluxe)” - A full-on sword with a cool jet-black blade. Comes in a sheath, thankfully.
57. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness. (x3)
FĂłlkvangr: A thin, white and gold sword. It seems to be rusted from disuse.
Knife: A custom kitchen knife, the kind that's really expensive. Except--is that blood? It sure is!
Death Penalty - A loaded weapon that strikes with deadly precision and powerful rounds.
59. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
60. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
Ruby Dragonstone - A brilliant round gemstone bigger than a man's fist. In its original world, it's probably magic, but here and now it'll do for a ludicrously decadent paperweight.
Gemstone - A precious stone with impressive carat weight.
10. Diamond - Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere. (x7)
Scroll - An old scroll containing scripture. Most of it seems to detail a legend involving Saint Seiros organizing a ritual to bring the goddess back to her people.
Apothecary's Salve - Inside this small pot is an ointment that smells strongly of herbs and greenery. It's no Neosporin, but it feels great on weals and welts.
Makeshift rope - A length of knotty, braided cord cobbled together from various outfits Therion's acquired over his time here. It's not necessarily the sturdiest, and it's definitely not the prettiest, but it might hold some weight at least once. (x2)
Ziploc bag from the gummy fish. (x2)
Safety pins from the punk jeans. (x3 sets)
Wire from the Hand Bra. (x2)
Coconut husk hollowed out from a Coconut.
Styrofoam Cup from the Live Bait, thoroughly rinsed.
Firewood: It's a pile of chopped firewood, if you're tempted to set the fire alarm off. Actually, don't do that.
Matchbox - A box full of matches. Not one of those tiny, puny ones you can buy at a store. It's a literal box, about the size of a standard laptop, FULL of matches.
Gyro's Oxy-Chew: It provides water, oxygen, and nutrition. And tastes terrible! Black licorice?!
1. A black suit, perfectly tailored to your character regardless of size or species.
3. A pair of jeans and a strange tie-dye shirt! Design and colors are player's choice.
Denim Outfit, Summer Version - A nice denim jacket with a fur collar, the sleeves ripped off for a nice summery look. Comes with a tank and some nice pants. There's a hole in the pants where a tail should go...
Samurai costume - A full set of authentic feudal samurai armor. Raise the shield at the right time to deflect fireballs!
09. Scarf - An incredibly comfortable scarf, if you don’t mind the dull brown color. (x3)
37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.
39. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
Totem of Brotherhood - A strange stone slab with an intricate design. Damn it, Aela.
Memento from Alice: A maroon knit bow tie. She made it for Therion thinking it would be cozy, like his scarf.
Letter from Ema: Rolled carefully into a small scroll and tied shut with pink thread.
Ema's Scotch Tape - Originally from Angel. Can be used for lifting fingerprints, for setting door traps, and in all manner of investigaolbreaker business.
Cookie Jar - A red cookie jar from Nira.
Zaza's Buzz - A plastic bottle of homemade mead. ...Homemeade.
War Paint - In a lovely forest green. This is a lot of paint, almost like it belongs to someone who wears it every day.
GEM DESTABILIZER: A yellow device that looks a little like an arrow-shaped tuning fork, with an orb suspended between the two tips and a longer handle. It's been snapped in half.
A fake badass tattoo - It has flames and a skull and even a knife. With this, you can murder your enemies, go to prison, make everyone your bitch and then murder them too, and go to... some kind of super prison?
COULD BE USEFUL:
29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “Big Kahuna Bob.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “Ugh, Fake Monsters.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck. (x2)
47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura... (x2)
18. Bucket of Bricks - A plastic bucket with a lid full of small, colorful, interconnecting blocks. The only limit to what you can build is your imagination! No minifigures included. (x5)
19. Stuffed Kangaroo - About a foot tall, and… it’s a kangaroo, what do you want from me? (x2)
07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period. (x2)
28. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is blue. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise. (x3)
06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know? (x2)
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why are there fifty different recipes for deviled eggs in here?
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is the junior novelization of the film Independence Day in here?
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is someone’s tier list of wildcats in here?
53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper. (x5)
50. Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment. (x3)
56. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations. (x2)
05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here! (x3)
30. Rations - A set of military rations. At least they’ll never go bad? (x2)
04. Hot Sauce - A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk! (x3)
02. BBQ Sauce - A bottle of… barbeque sauce. Might be cool if you had, like, a barbeque!
26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain… (x4)
67. Conversation Hearts - A box of chalky candy hearts with fun messages on them!
08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing! (x2)
15. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.
54. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck! (x3)
20. Wooden Flute - Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one. (x4)
01. Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum? (x5)
21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze. (x2)
61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh? (x3)
51. Shovel - A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to. (x3)
55. Free Trial Disc - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh? (x3
52. Do-It-Yourself Mime Kit - A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people… (x3)
13. Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty. (x2)
63. VHS Tape - A blank tape of some kind??? It might not be just the fantasy characters who don’t recognize this. It contains a recording of various McDonalds commercials.
68. Incredible Soaking Device - A water gun! Surely you will all be very responsible with this. (x5)
24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
31. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.
TO GIVE:
16. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. (x2)
66. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Las Vegas? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
TO SORT:
1 -
2 - 62. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
3 - Snackoos - A sizable vacuum-sealed bag of cylindrical chocolate-covered crisps. Not only are they tasty, but they also make a satisfying "ka-tonk" when thrown. (Courtesy of Ema)
4 - 29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
5 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
6 - 13. Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty.
7 - 57. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
8 - 39. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
9 - 11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
10 - 06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
1 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
2 - 25. Box of Chocolates - Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo.
3 - 38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
4 - 58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
5 - 51. Shovel - A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to.
6 - Wu Kong the Primeape: A monkey who prefers using his fists to anything else. Loves a good fight, either sparring with a friend or fighting a foe.
7 - 37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.
8 - 42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
9 - 21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
10 - 74. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
1 - 58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
2 - 25. Box of Chocolates - Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo.
3 - 02. BBQ Sauce - A bottle of… barbeque sauce. Might be cool if you had, like, a barbeque!
4 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
5 - 53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
6 - Vintage Newspaper: a rather old and yellowed newspaper, the date says it is 1840. There’s a rather curious article on it, featuring a drawing of a certain someone (Courtesy of Shelley)
7 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
8 - 17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
9 - 14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.
10 - 04. Hot Sauce - A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk!
1 - 69. A Cool Refreshing Beverage - Nice!
2 - 50. Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment.
3 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
4 - Binocucom - High tech binoculars, perfect for scouting out crime scenes. Also good for video chatting and photography.
5 - 44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there a carved-out section containing a bunch of coins in here?
6 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
7 - 49. Tiger Stripe Suit - A fitted suit and pants in full orange-and-black tiger stripes. Somehow, putting in on makes you feel stealthy, but… that can’t be right, can it?
8 - 35. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?
9 - 35. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?
10 - 13. Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty.
1 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
2 - 17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
3 - 18. Bucket of Bricks - A plastic bucket with a lid full of small, colorful, interconnecting blocks. The only limit to what you can build is your imagination! No minifigures included.
4 - 51. Shovel - A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to.
5 - Zerinda’s Personal Notebook - A small leather-bound notebook, cover dyed a pricey purple. There are pages with sketches of various plants and their names, hand drawn star charts with additional notes below and beside them (ex. Eluviesta / Cloudreach - Eluvia [Creation Sign], Molioris / Bloomingtide - Visus (Orlais)/Servani (Tevinter) [Entropy Sign] with summaries of different personality types). Most of it looks to be a daily journal of the life of someone who lives in a swamp or bog and, near the back, there are a lot of recipes. Most seem to consist of different kinds of wine, some health poultice and salves, something called a “lyrium potion”. In the last few pages are notes on how to make things like acid flasks, deathroot extract, ”Aquae Lucidius” (looks like a kind of liquor made from Wyvern venom), and many other kinds of poisons along with their antidotes.
1 - 40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
2 - 14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.
3 - 54. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck!
4 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
5 - 53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
6 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
7 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
8 - 34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
9 - 07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
10 - 47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
1 - 71. Eridium - A block of the same purple rock as found in the bar. This one has been refined into what looks like a cartoon gold bar.
2 - 41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!
3 - 38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
4 - 42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
5 - 58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
6 - Lute: Perfect for singing about your preference for reindeer. (Courtesy of a stranger)
7 - 67. Conversation Hearts - A box of chalky candy hearts with fun messages on them!
8 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
9 - Gun Ammo - It's basically a whole slew of bullets ready for use with certain rifles, one of with begins with the letters "DEATH".
10 - 17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
1 - 41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!
2 - 34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
3 - 12. Nisse - A stuffed friend for the holidays, or really any other time of the year - Gaze upon it, love it, take it home.
4 - 31. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.
5 - 74. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
6 - 68. Incredible Soaking Device - A water gun! Surely you will all be very responsible with this.
7 - 74. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
8 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
9 - 38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
1 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
2 - Ancient Statue: A dogu statue, but it's kind of weird. For one thing, it has antennae. For another thing, if you touch it, it lights up and starts floating... (Courtesy of a stranger)
3 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
4 - 11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
5 - 21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
6 - 24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
7 - 24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
8 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
9 - 09. Scarf - An incredibly comfortable scarf, if you don’t mind the dull brown color.
10 - 68. Incredible Soaking Device - A water gun! Surely you will all be very responsible with this.
1 - 40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
2 - 63. VHS Tape - A blank tape of some kind??? It might not be just the fantasy characters who don’t recognize this. It contains a recording of a cooking show about how to make a quiche.
3 - 56. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations.
4 - 34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
5 - Idol Poster? - A poster of a group of girls posing in cute outfits. For some reason, two of the girls' heads have been very obviously swapped. (Courtesy of a stranger)
6 - 26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…
7 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
8 - 28. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is blue. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise.
9 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
10 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
1 - 52. Do-It-Yourself Mime Kit - A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people…
2 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
3 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
4 - 01. Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum?
5 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
6 - Fresh Ice: It's just a big square block of ice. Something should probably be done with it before it melts? (Courtesy of a stranger)
7 - 53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
8 - 24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
9 - 40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
10 - 06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
11 - 44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there several pages of smiley faces in here?
12 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
1 - 22. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!
2 - 26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…
3 - Surveillance Tape: A standard VHS tape, labelled UTC 23-7-1998. Hope our technology is archaic enough to let you play the damn thing; if it is...well, be kind and rewind and it'll probably be fine.
4 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
5 - 56. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations.
6 - 66. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Flamesgrace? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
7 - 29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
8 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
9 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
10 - 45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.
1 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
2 - 16. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view.
3 - 20. Wooden Flute - Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one.
4 - 28. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is red. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise.
5 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
6 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
7 - 11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
8 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
9 - 67. Conversation Hearts - A box of chalky candy hearts with fun messages on them!
10 - 42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
1 - 47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
2 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
3 - 41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!
4 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
5 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
6 - 55. Free Trial Disc - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh?
7 - The Blue Bird: A necklace of a blue bird stuck in a cage. Wait a minute, it's a music box? What a lonely sound.
8 - Beauty and the Beard - A fake beard made of coarse and thick dark hair. It even comes with its own wooden mannequin head!
9 - 50. Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment.
10 - 21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
1 - 20. Wooden Flute - Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one.
2 - 47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
3 - 07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
4 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
5 - 44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there a catalog of unrelated vending machines in here?
6 - 66. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Bolderfall? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
Piercing Dagger - Phys. Atk. +59, Evasion +27. Can help you evade piercing questions, too, if you stab someone with it and run away.
70. “Letter Opener (Deluxe)” - A full-on sword with a cool jet-black blade. Comes in a sheath, thankfully.
57. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness. (x3)
FĂłlkvangr: A thin, white and gold sword. It seems to be rusted from disuse.
Knife: A custom kitchen knife, the kind that's really expensive. Except--is that blood? It sure is!
Death Penalty - A loaded weapon that strikes with deadly precision and powerful rounds.
59. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
60. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
Ruby Dragonstone - A brilliant round gemstone bigger than a man's fist. In its original world, it's probably magic, but here and now it'll do for a ludicrously decadent paperweight.
Gemstone - A precious stone with impressive carat weight.
10. Diamond - Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere. (x7)
Scroll - An old scroll containing scripture. Most of it seems to detail a legend involving Saint Seiros organizing a ritual to bring the goddess back to her people.
Apothecary's Salve - Inside this small pot is an ointment that smells strongly of herbs and greenery. It's no Neosporin, but it feels great on weals and welts.
Makeshift rope - A length of knotty, braided cord cobbled together from various outfits Therion's acquired over his time here. It's not necessarily the sturdiest, and it's definitely not the prettiest, but it might hold some weight at least once. (x2)
Ziploc bag from the gummy fish. (x2)
Safety pins from the punk jeans. (x3 sets)
Wire from the Hand Bra. (x2)
Coconut husk hollowed out from a Coconut.
Styrofoam Cup from the Live Bait, thoroughly rinsed.
Firewood: It's a pile of chopped firewood, if you're tempted to set the fire alarm off. Actually, don't do that.
Matchbox - A box full of matches. Not one of those tiny, puny ones you can buy at a store. It's a literal box, about the size of a standard laptop, FULL of matches.
Gyro's Oxy-Chew: It provides water, oxygen, and nutrition. And tastes terrible! Black licorice?!
1. A black suit, perfectly tailored to your character regardless of size or species.
3. A pair of jeans and a strange tie-dye shirt! Design and colors are player's choice.
Denim Outfit, Summer Version - A nice denim jacket with a fur collar, the sleeves ripped off for a nice summery look. Comes with a tank and some nice pants. There's a hole in the pants where a tail should go...
Samurai costume - A full set of authentic feudal samurai armor. Raise the shield at the right time to deflect fireballs!
09. Scarf - An incredibly comfortable scarf, if you don’t mind the dull brown color. (x3)
37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.
39. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
Totem of Brotherhood - A strange stone slab with an intricate design. Damn it, Aela.
Memento from Alice: A maroon knit bow tie. She made it for Therion thinking it would be cozy, like his scarf.
Letter from Ema: Rolled carefully into a small scroll and tied shut with pink thread.
Ema's Scotch Tape - Originally from Angel. Can be used for lifting fingerprints, for setting door traps, and in all manner of investigaolbreaker business.
Cookie Jar - A red cookie jar from Nira.
Zaza's Buzz - A plastic bottle of homemade mead. ...Homemeade.
War Paint - In a lovely forest green. This is a lot of paint, almost like it belongs to someone who wears it every day.
GEM DESTABILIZER: A yellow device that looks a little like an arrow-shaped tuning fork, with an orb suspended between the two tips and a longer handle. It's been snapped in half.
A fake badass tattoo - It has flames and a skull and even a knife. With this, you can murder your enemies, go to prison, make everyone your bitch and then murder them too, and go to... some kind of super prison?
COULD BE USEFUL:
29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “Big Kahuna Bob.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “Ugh, Fake Monsters.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck. (x2)
47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura... (x2)
18. Bucket of Bricks - A plastic bucket with a lid full of small, colorful, interconnecting blocks. The only limit to what you can build is your imagination! No minifigures included. (x5)
19. Stuffed Kangaroo - About a foot tall, and… it’s a kangaroo, what do you want from me? (x2)
07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period. (x2)
28. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is blue. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise. (x3)
06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know? (x2)
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why are there fifty different recipes for deviled eggs in here?
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is the junior novelization of the film Independence Day in here?
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is someone’s tier list of wildcats in here?
53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper. (x5)
50. Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment. (x3)
56. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations. (x2)
05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here! (x3)
30. Rations - A set of military rations. At least they’ll never go bad? (x2)
04. Hot Sauce - A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk! (x3)
02. BBQ Sauce - A bottle of… barbeque sauce. Might be cool if you had, like, a barbeque!
26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain… (x4)
67. Conversation Hearts - A box of chalky candy hearts with fun messages on them!
08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing! (x2)
15. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.
54. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck! (x3)
20. Wooden Flute - Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one. (x4)
01. Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum? (x5)
21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze. (x2)
61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh? (x3)
51. Shovel - A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to. (x3)
55. Free Trial Disc - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh? (x3
52. Do-It-Yourself Mime Kit - A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people… (x3)
13. Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty. (x2)
63. VHS Tape - A blank tape of some kind??? It might not be just the fantasy characters who don’t recognize this. It contains a recording of various McDonalds commercials.
68. Incredible Soaking Device - A water gun! Surely you will all be very responsible with this. (x5)
24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
31. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.
TO GIVE:
16. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. (x2)
66. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Las Vegas? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
TO SORT:
1 -
2 - 62. “Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
3 - Snackoos - A sizable vacuum-sealed bag of cylindrical chocolate-covered crisps. Not only are they tasty, but they also make a satisfying "ka-tonk" when thrown. (Courtesy of Ema)
4 - 29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
5 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
6 - 13. Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty.
7 - 57. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
8 - 39. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
9 - 11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
10 - 06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
1 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
2 - 25. Box of Chocolates - Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo.
3 - 38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
4 - 58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
5 - 51. Shovel - A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to.
6 - Wu Kong the Primeape: A monkey who prefers using his fists to anything else. Loves a good fight, either sparring with a friend or fighting a foe.
7 - 37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.
8 - 42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
9 - 21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
10 - 74. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
1 - 58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
2 - 25. Box of Chocolates - Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo.
3 - 02. BBQ Sauce - A bottle of… barbeque sauce. Might be cool if you had, like, a barbeque!
4 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
5 - 53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
6 - Vintage Newspaper: a rather old and yellowed newspaper, the date says it is 1840. There’s a rather curious article on it, featuring a drawing of a certain someone (Courtesy of Shelley)
7 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
8 - 17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
9 - 14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.
10 - 04. Hot Sauce - A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk!
1 - 69. A Cool Refreshing Beverage - Nice!
2 - 50. Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment.
3 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
4 - Binocucom - High tech binoculars, perfect for scouting out crime scenes. Also good for video chatting and photography.
5 - 44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there a carved-out section containing a bunch of coins in here?
6 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
7 - 49. Tiger Stripe Suit - A fitted suit and pants in full orange-and-black tiger stripes. Somehow, putting in on makes you feel stealthy, but… that can’t be right, can it?
8 - 35. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?
9 - 35. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?
10 - 13. Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty.
1 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
2 - 17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
3 - 18. Bucket of Bricks - A plastic bucket with a lid full of small, colorful, interconnecting blocks. The only limit to what you can build is your imagination! No minifigures included.
4 - 51. Shovel - A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to.
5 - Zerinda’s Personal Notebook - A small leather-bound notebook, cover dyed a pricey purple. There are pages with sketches of various plants and their names, hand drawn star charts with additional notes below and beside them (ex. Eluviesta / Cloudreach - Eluvia [Creation Sign], Molioris / Bloomingtide - Visus (Orlais)/Servani (Tevinter) [Entropy Sign] with summaries of different personality types). Most of it looks to be a daily journal of the life of someone who lives in a swamp or bog and, near the back, there are a lot of recipes. Most seem to consist of different kinds of wine, some health poultice and salves, something called a “lyrium potion”. In the last few pages are notes on how to make things like acid flasks, deathroot extract, ”Aquae Lucidius” (looks like a kind of liquor made from Wyvern venom), and many other kinds of poisons along with their antidotes.
1 - 40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
2 - 14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.
3 - 54. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck!
4 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
5 - 53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
6 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
7 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
8 - 34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
9 - 07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
10 - 47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
1 - 71. Eridium - A block of the same purple rock as found in the bar. This one has been refined into what looks like a cartoon gold bar.
2 - 41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!
3 - 38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
4 - 42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
5 - 58. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
6 - Lute: Perfect for singing about your preference for reindeer. (Courtesy of a stranger)
7 - 67. Conversation Hearts - A box of chalky candy hearts with fun messages on them!
8 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
9 - Gun Ammo - It's basically a whole slew of bullets ready for use with certain rifles, one of with begins with the letters "DEATH".
10 - 17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
1 - 41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!
2 - 34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
3 - 12. Nisse - A stuffed friend for the holidays, or really any other time of the year - Gaze upon it, love it, take it home.
4 - 31. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.
5 - 74. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
6 - 68. Incredible Soaking Device - A water gun! Surely you will all be very responsible with this.
7 - 74. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
8 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
9 - 38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
1 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
2 - Ancient Statue: A dogu statue, but it's kind of weird. For one thing, it has antennae. For another thing, if you touch it, it lights up and starts floating... (Courtesy of a stranger)
3 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
4 - 11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
5 - 21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
6 - 24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
7 - 24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
8 - 48. Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
9 - 09. Scarf - An incredibly comfortable scarf, if you don’t mind the dull brown color.
10 - 68. Incredible Soaking Device - A water gun! Surely you will all be very responsible with this.
1 - 40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
2 - 63. VHS Tape - A blank tape of some kind??? It might not be just the fantasy characters who don’t recognize this. It contains a recording of a cooking show about how to make a quiche.
3 - 56. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations.
4 - 34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
5 - Idol Poster? - A poster of a group of girls posing in cute outfits. For some reason, two of the girls' heads have been very obviously swapped. (Courtesy of a stranger)
6 - 26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…
7 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
8 - 28. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is blue. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise.
9 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
10 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
1 - 52. Do-It-Yourself Mime Kit - A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people…
2 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
3 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
4 - 01. Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum?
5 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
6 - Fresh Ice: It's just a big square block of ice. Something should probably be done with it before it melts? (Courtesy of a stranger)
7 - 53. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
8 - 24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
9 - 40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
10 - 06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
11 - 44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there several pages of smiley faces in here?
12 - 08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
1 - 22. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!
2 - 26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…
3 - Surveillance Tape: A standard VHS tape, labelled UTC 23-7-1998. Hope our technology is archaic enough to let you play the damn thing; if it is...well, be kind and rewind and it'll probably be fine.
4 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
5 - 56. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations.
6 - 66. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Flamesgrace? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
7 - 29. Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!
8 - 36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
9 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
10 - 45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.
1 - 65. Action Figure - A classic action figure of… well he has muscles and a sword? You don’t recognize him, but he feels like at least five to ten cartoon protagonists from a certain time period.
2 - 16. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view.
3 - 20. Wooden Flute - Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one.
4 - 28. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is red. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise.
5 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
6 - 23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this?
7 - 11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
8 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
9 - 67. Conversation Hearts - A box of chalky candy hearts with fun messages on them!
10 - 42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
1 - 47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
2 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
3 - 41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!
4 - 27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
5 - 05. Tea Variety Pack - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
6 - 55. Free Trial Disc - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh?
7 - The Blue Bird: A necklace of a blue bird stuck in a cage. Wait a minute, it's a music box? What a lonely sound.
8 - Beauty and the Beard - A fake beard made of coarse and thick dark hair. It even comes with its own wooden mannequin head!
9 - 50. Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment.
10 - 21. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
1 - 20. Wooden Flute - Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one.
2 - 47. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
3 - 07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
4 - 61. “Landscaping Aid” - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
5 - 44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there a catalog of unrelated vending machines in here?
6 - 66. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Bolderfall? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
Stripped for Rope
49. Tiger Stripe Suit - A fitted suit and pants in full orange-and-black tiger stripes. Somehow, putting in on makes you feel stealthy, but… that can’t be right, can it?Stripped for rope.49. Tiger Stripe Suit - A fitted suit and pants in full orange-and-black tiger stripes. Somehow, putting in on makes you feel stealthy, but… that can’t be right, can it?Stripped for rope.39. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”Stripped for rope.40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.Stripped for rope.37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.Stripped for rope.37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.Stripped for rope.35. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?Stripped for rope.2. A set of loose and comfortable dull green pajamas.Stripped for rope.38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!Stripped for rope.For now, the safety pins are in a Ziploc.He's lost some of the safety pins. The rest he keeps in his money pouch.34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.Stripped for rope.34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.Stripped for rope.36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.Stripped for rope.32. Velvet Cape - A full velvet cape, perfect for swishing around and pretending you’re either an old-timey aristocrat or a vampire. Also useful if you wanna get a LARP started in here.Stripped for rope.36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.Stripped for rope.34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.Stripped for rope.36. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.Stripped for rope.40. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.Stripped for rope.34. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.Stripped for rope.35. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?Stripped for rope.32. Velvet Cape - A full velvet cape, perfect for swishing around and pretending you’re either an old-timey aristocrat or a vampire. Also useful if you wanna get a LARP started in here.Stripped for rope.46. Hand Bra - Who the heck left this in here? It almost seems like it belongs in a whole other world.Stripped for the wire.46. Hand Bra - Who the heck left this in here? It almost seems like it belongs in a whole other world.Stripped for the wire.Used/Dumped/Returned
Princess - What even is this thing? It looks like some kind of terrible nude rabbit that’s also a giant mole. At least it’s docile, even wearing a dark pink leather collar with a copper metal nameplate with the words “Princess III” etched into it.Returned.Monopoly - An obscure version of Monopoly based on a cartoon you’ve never heard of called “The Rocket Kids.” But hey, it’s still Monopoly, everyone’s favorite game for building closer bonds with your friends and family!Promised to Della.42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.Dumped sans candy accents and one panel of roof.Extremely Spicy Mapo Tofu - So spicy that people call it the "killer" Mapo Tofu, with an unearthly taste hidden behind the onslaught of spiciness.Flushed.24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!Dumped.26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…Dumped.14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.Traded.19. Stuffed Kangaroo - About a foot tall, and… it’s a kangaroo, what do you want from me?(Given toDaisyMira)08. Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!Given to Mira.24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!Dumped.26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…Dumped.07. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.Traded.60. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!Traded.06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?Origami'd.44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there sheet music for a bunch of sea shanties in here?Origami'd.23. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this? (x2)Why, indeed.27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.Traded.11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw! (x3)Sacrificed on the altar of Guilt.31. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork. (x6)Sacrificed on the altar of Guilt.22. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!He released the worms into the garden, but kept the cup.Eaten, Specifically
03. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.Eaten.41. Gummy Fish - A ziploc bag of red fish-shaped candy. Actually pretty good, if you like that sort of thing!Eaten. Ziploc's been tossed, too.Apple - A fresh, red apple. Cronch.Eaten.03. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.Eaten.43. Freeze-Dried Ice Cream - Pretend you’re an astronaut! Only available in vanilla, but there's an ad on the back for other flavors.Nom.45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.Er... some way or another, this is gone.17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.C o n s u m e d.43. Freeze-Dried Ice Cream - Pretend you’re an astronaut! Only available in vanilla, but there's an ad on the back for other flavors.Therion's gonna get fat and it's all the Professor's fault.42. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.Yum.03. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.Eaten.03. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.Ditto.43. Freeze-Dried Ice Cream - Pretend you’re an astronaut! Only available in vanilla, but there's an ad on the back for other flavors.Gotta keep your blood sugar up in times like this.17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.Hormnf.25. Box of Chocolates - Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo.He still ate that one, too.Apple - A fresh, red apple. Cronch.Cronchcronch.45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.Probably he put it on some bread before he ate it...64. An Egg - Can the vending machine offer you one of these in this trying time? Hard-boiled, at least.I love egg.45. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.Eaten.17. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.Eaten.26. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain…Eaten, then hollowed out.03. Donut - These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food.Eaten.